Healing

It's been a while since I have posted here, usually about my own spiritual thoughts and once about my mam but really spiritual means an encompass of all we are.

 

Healing is a large part of spiritualism, not just a religion as some think, but God is a spirit, energy is a living thing, thoughts live and bring either happiness or sadness, but all the time making energy.

 

If the energy created by each human could be gathered at the same time imagine how great a power could be used to sweep across the world and take away human suffering.  It can't cure hunger but it can help ease the pain of the stomach.  It can't cure death but can help prepare the spirit about to leave the host of the body to enter into the next chapter of its development.

 

Each of us has the ability to ask and give.  When in pain all you need is to ask for the pain to be eased, we can only bear so much and God has no limits to his love for us.  He loves us unconditionally, we are a spark of him.  He would not leave us and honest I truly believe that healing has helped me through these nine years of fighting.

 

When I have had contact healing at a healing service I come out feeling light.  My body has been usually heated by the hands of the working healer, she or he always seems to know where my body is at the most pain, the warmth that generates through my clothes and into my insides is just unbelievable.  Although there are times when the healing received has been cold, this is because my muscles have needed the change to help them do their healing.

 

Once a healing service has all those wanting contact healing done we then sit in the energy created, this is added with the new energy coming from our own spirits, awakened by the healing energies received.  All this beautiful power is then requested to go out.  Each of the attendee's gives names of special requests, no conditions are given, just the name, the spirits know who we mean and where it needs to go.  You can feel the room slowly empty of the energy as the spirits take it off to their destinations. 

 

Our spirits themselves have being refreshed, healing works inside out in many cases.  It is an ideal way of healing those with emotional problems, many times while healing is taking places you will see people sitting with tears streaming down their faces, they can't explain why, but feel something inside has lifted.  It is beautiful to see and experience.

 

Today out of the blue I received a beautiful card from an old school friend, she now lives in Ireland but her mam is a healer at my church.

 

Angle of Inspiration

 

Ask your guardian angel to come and be your guide

for you're a caring heavenly friend

who's always by your side

Then solutions to your problems

will all fall into place

and you'll find you can

greet each day with a smile

upon your face

 

You don't have to believe in any thing to accept healing, just ask for healing if you don't believe in God.  God is a name given so we know what to call a faith in something.

 

I hope you now take a moment and send a healing thought to someone you know who is under the weather, down in the dumps or getting ready to move on to their next life.

Absent Healing

I haven't been to any healing services since the week before my hols in July.  I remember sitting on the sofa on the Sunday before we flew feeling sorry for myself. My back was one of the main reasons, at the time, which was getting me down.

 

I asked for healing angels to come and make me feel better as I was dropping off to snooze.  I remember having strange dreams and in those I felt my body being moved in a different direction to that which I was lying.  When I woke I actually felt better, my back seemed to improve.  On holiday I noticed the white noise wasn't as bad and I could actually lie down on the sunbeds without having a spasm run up my leg and make it impossible to get comfortable.

 

Then the 2nd day I spent waiting in RAMAC at Darlington, about 2.30 I felt like I wanted to be outside, for no reason other than being in the fresh air.  Gary just looked at me as if I was mad but I went in search of a doctor and asked if I could go out for 15 minutes.  I found out in an email later that the healing leader had asked everyone in the circle to picture me in the open air and send natures colours to help lift me and see me through whatever was to come.  She asked them at 2.35 to do this, she had already planned it in her mind at 2 before the healing service started.

 

Each Wednesday at 2.00pm our healing service starts and each Wednesday they have all sent me healing.  Did I believe absent healing was as effective as contact, upon till this week no, I thought no, it wasn't as strong.

 

I am missing contact healing though, I am sure that when spirit is working through spirit and then making contact with you it is stronger.  The heat or cold of the worker's hands always seem to find where I need it most.  I have never told them which part of me hurts etc.  At the last two I managed to get to, one lady has gone to my right side.  Now I know why, the meso was rearing its ugly head on that side.

 

We are taught all we need to do is ask.  I ask every night for those who are suffering and everyone with mesothelioma.  I pray for a miracle that will produce a cure to save the lives that are robbed.  I am now at that place in time where I too am worried about my own demise.  I fear the fact that nothing now will hold back the disease that is growing inside of me. 

 

My stomach is really getting me down, tonight I have found a lump where one of the needles and drains went in.  It's the first one, which hurt badly when the drain came out.  I know it will probably be torn muscle that they ripped through but your mind does crazy things and instead of registering this thought is making me think about seeding.

 

Many spiritualists - not those who are just interested in connecting with spirit and passing messages, but the true believers of this great understanding, believe that we are here for a reason and the time we die is already arranged.  Things may happen and freak accidents do come along but I believe they are pre ordained. I have known people walk away from a car accident with scratches where really they should have been killed, then others die in accidents that they should have walked away from.

 

My other worry is that if I am waiting or here for some project I need to complete will I also have to bear the pain that my condition will give me for all that time too. 

 

I believe in reincarnation but wonder why, if I could chose my life this time round, would I give myself such an ordeal and so much pain.

 

I hope I get back to the healing circle shortly, I always come away feeling that much lighter in my mind and for a few hours my pains seem less.

Healing

It has taken me some 3 years to do my H1, H2 and H3 theory as well as the two year practical to become a certified healer for Darlington Spiritualist Church.

On Wednesday an elderly woman came in, for this I will call her B, she hasn't been for quite a while and suffers with a bad hip.  I gave her my usual warm welcome and asked how she was coping.  She told me she had a bad hip (already know but carried on smiling) and that when they replaced her hip they had used the wrong size.  I said at last you can understand why you have had so much trouble with it then went on to say I know a couple of friends who've had a hip replacement and have had no trouble.

The woman took my head off saying I wasn't a doctor nor did I know anything about her general health.  Blow me down with a feather, she was aggressive.  I have seen her in action last year when she was nasty to one of our other healers, and had to step in to calm the situation down.

I also noticed no one spoke, then all turned their back on B.  She obviously realised she had been nasty and said she wasn't coming into the service. 

B is a Buddhist and after the service a couple of regulars said they were horrified at her attitude and maybe she should practice outwardly what she believes inwardly.  I laughed it off, so I don't know her history (well not all of it, she did spend an hour telling me all her ailments last year) nor am I a doctor but now I totally understand why her own gp's haven't bothered with her, especially if she takes their head's off.

As it turned out on Wednesday there was only two of us available to act as channels for the healing to work through, so we had a busy time.  I was relieved that B didn't come in because I know the other healer would have refused to be a channel for her, yes B had been nasty to her at one time and although spiritualism is in believing we should love each other it doesn't mean we have to put up with each other. After her outburst to me I doubt she would have wanted to sit for me.  Funny how life works sometimes though. 

The energy in the healing room after we had finished channelling was wonderful, I ensured I asked for many friends who are ill with meso as well as the normal list I have. 

Whether we believe healing works or not it certainly does something, how else can you explain having at times warm and cold coming in through your clothing by someone placing their hands on your back, shoulders, etc. 

Healing Exam

Finally after 4 years of study and practical work I sat my healing assessment.  My memory isn't what it use to be and considering I have completed H1 to H3 theory, higher than most who do healing, my 4 assessments and 100 practical weeks of healing you would think I would remember the 7 principals without any trouble.  Well I couldn't, my mind was a blank on Tuesday night.

 

I re-read our Code of Conduct, not that any sunk in either and the ever changing rules about pregnant ladies and underage children, not to mention our pets!  My mind was a blurr.  The SNU didn't send me my stuff back when I submitted it for the exam and sent the wrong information to the Examination Board, so I knew it wouldn't be a good day.

 

I put the information I received back from the Healing Committee into an evelope together with photocopies of everything I had sent them, log books, assessment records, letters from patients, Certificates of Theory exams, etc - if you ever sit this remember to copy the lot before sending in!  So I rushed out on Wednesday, I was late back from work, to my exam and left this information on my desk at home!  Arriving at Church and asked to hand them over I could have died there and then, rang home, thankfully my husband jumped in his car and brought them. 

The assessment was held at my old Church, I used to be Secretary there until I was taken ill, but the President and I didn't really get on, in fact I hate committee's, you find some people think they have a lot of power over a few and it shouldn't work like that.  Anyway, I saw 2 friendly faces out of the 10 present and I thought Dear God, I've failed before I start.

I had to set it up a full service, normally 2 or 3 people at least would sit an assessment together but under special circumstances and the fact that I have waited so long it was done just for me, so I had my work cut out.  By the time I got to Opening Pray I was ok but then I had 4 patients to work on, I just hoped I had enough energy to stay standing upright.

 

All went well till the last one where my hands kept slipping on her cardigan, no matter where I put them they slid down.  Yes, you're right, its a fail for this but I argued my case, the patient is a good friend to the President and ex treasurer of the Church and I'm sure she wore this on purposes!

 

It was a strange experience and my thoughts whilst deciding whether they would pass or fail me was, who are they to mark me anyway?  If they do fail me so what, I can still have healing and I can still do healing, absent healing isn't as good as hands on (in my opinion only) but it does work and they can't stop me doing that, if they do stop me practising healing in Church.  Then your mind wanders to other things while standing giving healing, my own predicament, after all I am a walking miracle ... not that I am attesting all my good luck to healing, but the fact that the last dose of chemo has worked, surely with the help of the healing.

I send healing out to many who have this same disease, especially on a Wednesday when the energy is so full on in the healing room, I imagine bright lightening strikes of healing hitting all those I ask for and lifting them.  I have no proof it works but then again when I had my first cyro the next morning as I woke at 6am they were sending healing to me and I felt no pain, in fact that morning I was on top of the world, healing or thankfulness that I knew the meso had been removed?

 

Back to my assessment, I didn't keep telling each patient that they should carry on all treatment as directed by their GP, why because I did it in my opening to the service, so I was in trouble for that too, I tried to explain that sometimes when working in close quarters it is irritating to other patients to hear it said to them then half way through their healing someone else is being told it, I found it annoying as a patient so everyone else must... maybe I am just to vocal about these things. 

 

The questions were put in such a stupid manner that when asked they had to re ask in a way that normal people understand, one question I do remember was Where is Spinal Fluid Created - Eh the Spinal Cord and Brain?  What does the SNU Healing Committee do?  There are at least 15 rules they follow, which one did they want? On top of that I couldn't remember all 15! I did get the 7 principals out without forgetting the worst one to remember, yes that's the one Compensation and Retribution hereafter for all Good and Evil Deeds Done on Earth, what a tongue tier that one is!

 

After my questions and answers I left them to it, they have decided to recommend a pass, at last I will be free not to have to keep saying I am a Trainee Healer would you prefer someone else! 

 

Funny really as a couple of years ago I was asked to be a tutor for those sitting H1, I turned it down due to everything else that was going on in my life.  Maybe this year I will accept and put others through the hard time I had .. only kidding I believe H1 should be done before the practical or at least 3 of the sections completed, that's what I did and found it easier then to understand the practicalities of it all.

 

 

Life after Death

I had a phone call yesterday to let me know a friend had died.  Vi Kipling is known throughout the UK as a wonderful spiritualist, medium and teacher.

She has suffered for years with her chest and her breathing problems, never once did she worry about dying.  When you talked one to one with her sometimes she could hardly breath but the moment she was due to work with spirit her voice boomed out.  They say that we should be happy to return to our home in spirit but I don't feel that way.  I am frightened of death, never being able to hug my husband or stroke my dogs.  The thought of my mind being stuck in a nightmare, what if there isn't another place and we are left in a state of coma, our minds still working but locked in a place we can't get out of.

I worry about the most craziest things but they are my worries. 

life

As time goes by with living with cancer you do start to wonder what is it all for. You look back through your life and all the mistakes you have done and some times the mistakes you still do. Life isn't always the way you want it to be, all the dreams you may have had as a child. I was so naive at 16 and probably still the same at 26, I was very timid and shy I would rather be hurt than cause pain to some one else, not realising in many cases that they probably wouldn't have felt anything and I always came off worse. Now that my life is ending how many tears will these people shed for me, probably none. What is it all for really, we hold our inner thoughts in check, we go around in circles sometimes instead of being direct, we waste valuable time and yet we all do it, unless we are the heartless type. Maybe as my time gets shorter I might find the inner me and say exactly what I think and feel

Aging the World

No matter how hard I do try I can't lock away pain into a little box and throw away the key.  We can ask for healing as much as we want and believe me I do, but when we feel good we forget to thank for helping us feeling better and when we are bad we sound like we are demanding help.   A lady once told me to thank my body for supporting me through the days and I do try to remember this.

Sometimes in life you are always pushing for the next step, when you're young you want to be older, when your 18 you are wanting to be 21, then married, then have children, then suddenly you are old and waiting for retirement then that comes and then its waiting for death.  When you have ill days you want to next step, when you have good days you don't want it to happen.  The one thing certain in this life is that we can't go back, so wishing our lives away is stupid yet we all have done it.

What is life?  Sometimes when I'm busy at work it seems strange that we worry about whether this job gets done, what does it matter... why is it so important?  I wonder if we had not populated and developed as fast in the last 100 years would life go as fast.  I would hate to have lived through must of history as it was torment and torture, with kings and countries constantly fighting and killing I doubt we ever had an Utopia that we should have had.

We have this dream inside of us where man is equal, where living side by side is easy and fulfilling, all fantasy future films produced years ago use to show living in communities that were at peace and then someone would come along and destroy it.  That is so typical of us, our species as a whole.

If there was a garden of Eden I doubt Eve would have bitten the apple it would have been Adam, because war and power seems to be an ingrained piece of the male psyche not the woman.

If the world had a chance to start again, sorry the human had the chance to start again, could we do it where we were law abiding without being guided, could we live and share without money, no.  I know it could ever work, but it would be nice if we started again with our modern technology as it stands that we could live with manufacturing in our small communities for what we needed, ate from local produce tendered by those who prefer to work outside, hospitals ran by those who had a caring side, and none of it driven by money, just a need to live and be happy. 

Our Towns not so large, no over populated cities, rural villages all within 5 miles of each other, that would be nice and communities would once again flourish.  Children taught to be polite and caring, parents not spoiling kids and letting them do as they please.  Education instilled on subjects that mattered. 

I think as a world we are too far gone in many places, we have to hope that those who live in the amazon or the small villages in India can carry on living the way they do for many years to come, it could be they may be the only people left the rate we are going at destruction.

I hope there is a spirit world and in that world we do live at peace, in communities and share.  Yet if this was the case why did we not bring that world to this?

Another question to leave you pondering over.

Brainwaves

Do you worry if there is something more once we die?  I have found that I am thinking more and more about it as time goes on.  I know that I want to believe, after all I do go for spiritual healing, and I have had a message from the otherside but was it a trick of the mind?

I think the more you want to know the less you do get confirmation of it all.  I truly hope that the healing I receive is doing some good, but then do you only get healing if you have never been a bad person .. then that would rule out lots of us wouldn't it.

What happens when we die, is it like a sleep that we never wake from?  We dream but at some point during the night we must stop dreaming and enter a total blackness but our heart just keeps pumping and our organs doing what comes naturally, so does our brain continue to exist and what if we wake up when our body is no longer there .. is that spirit?

Something to ponder on and something I needed to get off my chest.

Over populated

Many times I seem to look back at the past and wonder if I had done this or done that would this be different or would it still be the same.  I don't want to live in regret yet the way we live our life never seems right.  Were we mapped out to do this and that before we were born, was there a meaning to our life, have we missed it, should we have picked up on something and changed it. 

We can change some one's day by smiling at them without even knowing, we can also hurt some one by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.  But if you were to remember something you have done it is usually the one that upsets things, not the one that brought joy.

Having cancer you go through ups and downs, when you go through the downs you seem to constantly look at the things you that you preceive you did wrong.  The nights you can't sleep your mind just sticks to every mistake you made, are you cleansing your soul before you die or giving yourself the biggest guilt trip ever!   I feel guilty for the world sometimes, what we as man have done.  The damage we have inflicted on each other in the name of God, wars because one believes in this or believes in that.

We all have beliefs, whether its in God (to whatever name you want to give him) or the sun or even just yourself.  Why should your thoughts be any better than your neighbours, why should they be so strong that you will kill for them? 

Then there's the poor animals.  The way we live today our cattle are herded by quad bikes, no human contact until they stand infront of a bolt gun and get murdered, all for mass production.  It would be great if we could go back to small villages that provided meat just for a few hundred and the farm animals got to live a reasonable life.  Chickens weren't force fed within 6 months to be eaten, once over they got to live till at least 18 months.  All these things keep me awake at night and make me feel guilty.

In spiritualism the belief is that part of God is born within, an essence of himself, is that what makes my guilt weigh heavy on my mind during the long hours of the night.  Can we make our world better or are we too late. 

Our population keeps growing, its growing faster than the world can accommodate.  We have taken over the land and the sea.  We dump waste, dig up resources and leave great big gaping holes where the oil has been extracted from. We rule the airways with waves that force birds off track and kill our bees.

We go on about sending money to the poor, instead of money maybe we should be teaching birth control, animals don't produce large families when they know droughts are due yet in these continents families are producing baby upon baby, they know that only 1 or 2 will survive but have loads to ensure that at least they have one.  Why not teach them that if you put all your energy into two they will survive instead of having 10 and loosing 8, now with all our aid, those 10 survive, which over populates the world.

We have come to far to change and everything nature throws at us to reduce the growing number we find something to counteract it.  So far probably the only thing nature can do is flood us out, but with that it kills the wild life.  If there was a virus that wiped out the human race that would be created by man himself, we are on the way to destruction just not many have woken up to the fact.

What keeps your mind swirling at night?

Life and meaning

I found out the other day that the healing minister has cancer.  All the work and time she has put into spiritualism and you would think she would be healthier.  Infact I haven't come across anyone really in the church who does have really good health.  Maybe spiritualism and ill health go hand in hand!

Lately I have wondered whether there is such a thing as home, do we leave this host and return to another home, where we float like air but can communicate, sense and feel but not touch or be of matter.   I did believe it in whole heartedly after having an experience back in 95 where I was transported somewhere else, leaving my body to do a talk while I went to the stars and felt the love and the tug of having to leave it when I was brought back to earth. 

As I seem to ponder about what will happen next in my own life part of you wants to push on and see whats next, the other wants to stay and be here for as long as possible.  Strange the thoughts you have when you have terminal cancer.  You battle with it, fighting for your very existence on earth then wonder what will really happen when you die.  Problem is once you're dead you can't really come back and say I didn't want it to happen yet can you.  If you get married you can divorce if you don't like it, you can swap jobs if you hate what you do, you can change your face with the magic of surgery but once you're gone you are gone.

Guess I will just have to carry on pondering as I don't want to go.

Is this Love

Loosing my mam this week has brought on so many mixed emotions.  I feel the burden of her old age lifted from my shoulders, but miss the fact that she is there much more.  My mam made her life miserable and hard, she didn't understand happiness or friendships, I don't even know if she really understood what love was.

At the age of 13 she had to leave school, back in the 1930's that is what life was like.  Her mother was a cold woman but my mother was close to her father.  She trained to be a nurse and worked outside of York during the end WW2. Many a time she said the reason was because on a Sunday the matron allowed them a little butter with their Sunday Teas.  My grandmother gave birth to a son and my mother was sent for to look after him as she wasn't able to cope.  So my mother's career was ended and she went back home to live.  She ended up working as a Cashier and Usher in the local cinema and somehow met my Dad.   She married at 24 and lived in with her mother in law, renting a room.  My Dad was in Germany in the Army then and it was quite a while before they got there own place.

I am the youngest of three, my two older brothers being 6 and 4 years older.  The eldest got the love and nothing was left for the rest of us.  He was always her favourite and even as she got older and his visits were shorter, he was the one.

She was never happy, my Dad died still loving this wife, her never once showing affection to him or us for that matter.  I always thought mam's coldness was down to my Dad, but once he died my mam's family started opening up about how cold mam had been through her childhood and her early years of marriage.

She did have a hard life, mam and dad hardly had a penny between them, he wanted his own business and worked full time at one company while building a business up with his brother.  Mam had a temper on her and many argument's ended up with her throwing crockery and him punching the doors.  Her temper would not be quenched and sometimes it would be turned on us. 

For a small woman she had a good weight behind those slaps and later years dog leaders and a cane.  Yet as kids we loved her, but didn't dare cross her.

We are challenged with trying to find memories for the funeral address and apart from her loving the dogs that we had and being an excellent cook at this moment and time I can't think of anything that made her laugh out loud.  She was a good instructor for teaching cooking, sewing, cleaning, decorating, by the time I was nine I could cook a full Sunday dinner. 

We built our own house, it took a few years but I sweated over the concrete mixer, broke toes catching bricks.  Every summer mam and I would decorate from one end of the house to the other.  Nearly all six weeks of the holidays I would either be painting or cleaning. 

Now that she has passed away the house is empty, I can feel no love residing their, hear no laughter in the walls. 

I was on chemo when Dad died, not long ago I found out that my operation although successful at the time, hasn't worked as well as I had hoped and my mesothelioma is on the move again.  My mam never really understood how ill I was, even when I was so ill the second time round on chemo she was demanding of my time and couldn't understand why I wasn't there all the time.  When I finally had the operation to remove my lung pleura, heart sac and diaphragm my illness never registered with her, she was lonely, had copd and couldn't breathe.  She would pretend that she couldn't breathe to get your attention,but all the time calling out I can't breathe!  When I can't breathe the last thing I can do is shout it out! 

When I was told that I was unable to have children at 30 she turned the knife that little bit more by praising the fact that her favourite son had given her such a wonderful grandson.  Then a miracle happened and at 40 I fell pregnant, she said I hope its a boy, girls are nothing but trouble.  I lost the child but no sympathy came my way, Oh well she said, I have 4 grandchildren.  Yet here I am constantly thinking about her, could I have done more, but what more can you do with someone who really didn't want to help themselves.  She could bleed you dry, cause an argument to make you feel bad.

We grew up in a house that argued from morning till night, my last conversation with my mother ended up with an argument, yet I guess for her it was what she wanted, so I am fighting the guilt and hoping that my mam has finally found the peace that she has craved for for all of her life.

I can only hope that if there is life in the form of spirit, then her spirit finally finds the meaning of love.

Dis-ease

We have all heard that healing is based on the spirit and then out to the body but does that mean that the spirit is dis-eased,  I don't think that's the case.  I think it's the body that is dis-eased because our spirit is borne pure and cannot die.  We use our body as a pure host and it's our responsibility to try and keep it healthy for as long as we need to experience this life.  But what happens when our body doesn't want to remain healthy or we get cancer that kills.  It's a hard question and I don't have answers either. 

I do believe healing helps and although it may not be able to kill all diseases it can help in some small way to help you.  Do I really believe this, yes, yet here I am fighting a terrible cancer and have healing every week, yet the cancer seems to keep coming back.  I have decided that it keeps coming back because it's a man creation if there is a god or total entity, he\she didn't create cancer therefore can't cure it.  Somewhere within our bodily function we must have the key to kill it.

When you get stung by a nettle, nature always has a leaf nearby to take away the sting, nature has all the cures for natural illness, therefore cancer can't be a natural illness it has to be man made.  Look at how we have come along in the last 200 years, man didn't pollute this world until the late 1800's, although a bunch of savages that liked to kill each other nature didn't really bring in too many diseases.  The Black Death probably did London a big favour, but apart from that we seem to bring everything on ourselves.

I only hope that my body can find the key to halt this and give me a good few years to enjoy life, or I could look at it the other way and think that I have experienced all I set out to and maybe didn't plan on staying around much after 40 .. we just never know

Healing

Its great having healing, feeling that intense heat radiate through your body as you feel light and could drift off to sleep. I have had several healers over the years, but I must admit I love the spirits that bring heat rather than the cold ones.

Even stranger is when one had is delivering heat and the other delivering cold.

Today I have asked for some healing for myself, I feel like my body needs a boost of the energies that we all need.

I use to love the feeling of when random healing would radiate out of my hands, and when I was able to touch a person who needed it badly to feel the heat transfer leaving me and helping them.

If every night we all ask for healing to be sent to all those in need I wonder what kind of world we could live in

Are we all gifted?

I had a wonderful Saturday at a workshop, this is my third this year, and with each one I have thoroughly enjoyed them. I wish they could be on every month as I am sure they are much more in depth than doing a study night.

This Saturday was a psychic workday and it was really good fun. Out came the sand, water and the sticky pictures! We weren't a very large group, 9 in total but we all got the most out of the course. The next one will be on mediumship and I really can't wait.

As a child I saw spirit, not very often but enough to know that their was something out there and at 18 I felt I was here for a reason but still I am searching, as I don't know what that reason is.

I also remember floating out of my body when I was 15, I sat on the eves of the roof and watched myself sleeping. I could feel the breeze of the night against me as I sat up there watching me sleep. I have tried to experience this again but so far it has never happened. I do get that feeling of falling off the kerb, you know when one foot stumbles. This was explained to me as your Spirit coming back after been away from the body. Most of you reading this will have had this happen on numerous times.

Did you know that you never have to sign up to be a spiritualist as you are born one, your essence is spirit. That beautiful and sometimes annoying conscience of ours is our spirit, that sinking of the heart when we are hurt is our spirit, the state of happiness is our spirit. We live in a physical world for one reason, to feel physical things. We can't hold hands in the spirit world as we are like the air, clear and a vibration.

I think that as life progressed on earth we asked the great creator if we could not be apart of this physical earth and our gene was implanted within the Ape, but with that gene came a form on intelligence that allowed us to develop. As an original spirit we probably didn't know what we wanted to do until we were here and that's why we progressed, our spirit helping us change the use of our hands and legs.

Even deeper we could say that we were the first spark of life and as we died we went back to the creator and explained that the form we took wasn't what we wanted as so the species of the plant expanded until we found a form that we felt comfortable in, a bit like clothes shopping!

When you look at the wild life, nearly all animals put their offspring first, the family unit becomes important. The Apes are especially social and like our behaviour have the spoilt brat and the nasty bully, somethings we just can't shake off.

Thats my observations for today and a little bit more to ponder over.

Religion a ManMade Name

I have battled through illness since my early 20's with endo and now cancer yet I haven't blamed God. Somewhere in my spiritual self I must have wanted to learn lessons on being in pain, because that is all I have had for years and years.

We always say "why is this happening to me God" or something along those lines, we never thank god when times are good, or every day when we awake and see another day a head of us.

Should we be thankful, of course we should, we are here to experience life, to give it our best shot and try and live a loving and fulfilling life.

I have always thought I was here for a reason, as yet I don't know what that reason is for, maybe it was to go to the USA and find out about cryo-ablation for mesothelioma and give others faith in a different type of treatment or maybe it was to be a rock to some of my friends, or maybe just to experience life itself. We will never know what our main aim was until we reach the otherside once again.

Spiritualist's don't believe in life after death, but they do believe in eternal life, but then the beauty of spiritualism (as in the religion) is that you can make your own mind up as there is no one berating you from the pulpit telling you what you should or shouldn't believe in. Your free to interpret the seven principals as you seem fit.

After all, whatever religion we were christened into, at the end of the day we are still spirit, and it was man who put a name to the deep down faith we have always had.

In the beginning of time man felt compelled to pray to something, either the sun or the moon, the sea or the trees. Doesn't that tell you something. There is something out there apart from us on earth. We are made of something more than other animals that roam this world. We wanted to worship and pray from the beginning.

Man always has to put his nose into something and spoil it. Women were worshipped in the beginning of time because they gave birth and brought about new life. But man being man became jealous and with the creation of religious books the women was put down as a diversion to weaken men, to be second class and obey only what man said. What a load of twaddle.

They say in the bible that Eve was created from Adam's rib, therefore Man came first. Why do they not look at this and think when man was first created (if you believe this story) then God looked at Adam and thought I haven't designed this form right and had a go at a more refined and better model, that could also bring life to earth. Let's face it we build prototypes then replace them with a better model, maybe God did the same!

No I'm not getting at man, I just think that religion has given women a bad name, whether in the Christian faith or the Muslim faith. After all both faiths run similar lines in thoughts. The only difference is whoever wrote the Koran knew that the only way to get people to wash was to make them do it before pray, whereas the Christian's probably did wash more often as a normal course of life.

When I was first told I had 6 to 12 months left I thought about my funeral and thought I had better have the service in the CofE incase God doesn't recognise the Spiritualist church, what a stupid thought that was as God didn't create the CofE either, it was man. If you look even deeper you then realise that the spiritualist church is probably the longest running church (if you want to go religious). Jesus was a medium as was Moses never mind Jews.

I'll let you digest these thoughts then throw some more at you later.